Disclaimer: This is a brutally honest post. This is and has been my everyday for the past 7ish months. This isn't pretty but it is what it is. I have been wanting to write a post about life with Savannah for a while but I have been scared. We are having and have been having a very hard time with her.
Life with a 4 year old is absolute chaos most of the time. I often wonder what has happened to my sweet baby girl. I feel like someone has stolen my angel and replaced her with a whiny, often naughty and defiant child. You always hear people talk about the Terrible Two's. Two was easy for us. Sure we had a rough day from time to time but for the most part things were usually pretty awesome. Stupid me figured that we had lucked out and missed that phase (please let this be just a phase). Man was I wrong. Very very wrong. Things went down hill fast at 3 1/2. Very very fast. I don't know what it was that changed things. If you tell Savannah it's black she says it's white. If you tell her up she says it's down. She whines, rolls her eyes, stomps around and screams on the top of her lungs. When she is mad she will say that she wishes she had her own house with no Mommy or Daddy but just herself and Shane. At least she loves her brother.
I have a friend who tells me things are even worse at 4 & 5 years old then they were at 3. It's was hard to believe that is even possible. When I was pregnant I was petrified on how she would react to having a new baby. Thankfully she has been great with her brother. She has never acted out towards him ever. She is always gentle and kind to him. She tries to soothe him when he is upset. My sweet girl is still in there someplace.
Savannah will go to my in-law's or parent's for the day and for the most past she is a total angel. She has rolled her eyes and "growled" at my Mom before but my Mom set her straight. If she acts up and is spoken to by someone other then Jay or I she calms right down. Jay and I can threaten and take away her beloved pillow, bookie (a Tag.gies book she LOVES), her special blankies, TV & even fruit (her absolute favorite snack). We put her in timeout/naughty spot. We sit and talk about her behavior with her after she has calmed down. Nothing seems to help and I am at a loss on how to discipline her. I NEVER in a million years thought we would have these problems. She was always such a well behaved child. As awful as it is, I often look forward to her school days & play dates with her grandparents. She can be so rotten sometimes that I don't even want to be around her. It breaks my heart to say that but it's true. Summer vacation is going to be hard. Lord help us when she is a teenager.
I actually watched a 4 year old for about 6 months and I completely relate to what you are saying. Not sure what is up with that age, but she was very defiant and argued with me over everything. I did a lot of "time outs" and we practiced talking "nice" and acting "nice" too. It's hard, but you guys are doing a great job staying on her it sounds like! I think the key is just what you guys are doing: being consistent and making lots of play-dates! :-)
ReplyDeleteI hope that it gets easier and you can find something that works for Savannah. This too shall pass!
Ohhh no poor you! Im sure its just a phase...at least I hope for your sake it is!! :) Did it become worse when Shane arrived? Or was she like this before? Hang in there! You're a great mom...just keep thinking "this too shall pass." And than onto the next phase haha
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I can't imagine a 4 year old and a baby at the same time! I agree with Sarah, chant "this too shall pass" as often as you can!!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the trials we will be in for once Chloe gets older. It sounds like you are doing everything just right though and this is just an (ugly) phase right now.
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