So my brother in law and his girlfriend broke up about a month ago. He immediately (within days) started seeing this girl who he was "friends" with for a few month prior to the break up. My husband and I did a little Face.book creeping and we don't like what we see in these girls pictures. I tried to explain what exactly we didn't like about these pictures but I couldn't explain in a way that didn't sound absolutely horrible. The pictures were BAD! So we will just say that these pictures lead us to believe that this girl may not be the best choice to bring around the family. Never the less, he sometimes is at my in law's house with girl (sorry, I just can't refer to her as a lady). Savannah often goes to play at my in law's house. I don't like the idea of Savannah being around this girl. Is it wrong of me to not want her around someone who from their Face.book pictures doesn't look as though she has the best morals?? Is it wrong that I am having a little trouble with him bringing a new girlfriend around my 4 year old daughter 5 days after his girlfriend of 6 years broke up with him??
Please leave me a comment with your honest opinions! If you think I am bat shit crazy, please tell me. I can take it.
I think my in law's think I am crazy because I haven't let Savannah meet this girl. Hubbs thinks that there isn't a problem because this girl isn't left alone with Savannah. He thinks it isn't a "big deal" that his brother is seeing someone so soon because it's not like he is Savannah's parent.
I don't like the example this is setting. Or maybe I am being too over protective of my little girl. HELP!
I can see your point, your brother is moving on pretty quickly. Keep in mind, maybe she is just a re-bound girl? I would suggest maybe meeting her without Savannah first, like popping by when she's at your IL's house or something. Try to get a sense of who she is, her personality, and such. If you feel more comfortable, then take Savannah over and so forth.
ReplyDeleteWere you close to your brother's ex girlfriend? Could that maybe be part of the problem?
I don't think you are overreacting, employers look at Facebook now to see what type of person you are so why shouldn't we too? But make sure you get a good idea of who she is in real life too. :-)
I don't think you are over-reacted. I wouldn't have Alidia around someone I felt would be a bad influence. Little girls soak that stuff up and it's not good! I do agree with Heather... if I were you, I would go and meet this girl for yourself first, without Savannah, so that you can find out if she really is how you suspect she might be. A shame your brother in law moved on so quickly.. it does happen. Hopefully it all works out for the best.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the first commenter that part of the problem is probably that you felt like your brother's ex was part of the family, and it's hard to move on when you've invested in someone like that. However, it's not your choice, and my guess is that their relationship hasn't been good for quite a while if your brother was able to move on so quickly. It's a bummer, but it's ultimately his choice.
ReplyDeleteI would say you need to give this girl a chance. Meet up with her, and keep an open mind. Honestly, I don't post my dirty laundry on FB, but I've done things I wouldn't want my daughter to model after, and that doesn't make me a bad person (especially since I would never do those things in front of her!). I'm seriously doubting this girl is getting drunk and crazy (or whatever) at your MIL's house, which means she'll probably be just fine around your daughter.
Give her a shot...
I have a very hard time letting others into the family, maybe because I don't want to get close to them in fear that they will leave one day. Even my dad's new wife, I'm hesitant with b/c I don't want to get hurt in case things work out. Crazy, I know. I agree with the other ladies though, that you should try your best to give her a chance. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable though, and if after meeting her you still get a funny vibe, at least you can say you tried.
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